Empty Arms

In 5 weeks it will be our son's 19th Angelversary. I cannot for the life of me believe that 19 year's have gone by since I held him in my womb. I never got to hold him in my arms and I never got to say goodbye to him. Back then 'Dressed with Dignity' was not available and back then we were never offered choices as we are today. 17 weeks and 4 days and it is still a bitter pill to swallow, that someone did not think we would of wanted to hold him and say goodbye, and I guess it always will be, but in his name I know that we have given other parents the chance to say goodbye with dignity, and that does give me some peace.

I think my survival has been through believing our children age with us. I no longer think of him as my little baby boy, but a young man in a place we call heaven or paradise. We honour Jonathan in so many ways, through our Rainbow Project as he was my Rainbow Baby. I believe if we had been given support through our pregnancy been able to share with other families it may have helped our grieving process. This year we are launching the Rainbow Project in another NHS hospital which always warms my heart, and we will be organising a special event for Rainbow Day, 22nd August. Our goal this summer is to have our first Rainbow Art Therapy group opened, watch this space for updates!

No matter how many things we do to bring colour to our lives, it still hurts. We will always wonder what he would have looked like. So, many times we have thought about having an AI picture of him completed. Would he have looked more like his dad or more like me? But something stops me, I am not sure what it is. As I have seen beautiful pictures created for parents. Maybe..... one day! I am just not ready yet and I do not think Harry is either. What do we have planned for his day, well we are spending it with friends and I am sure a picnic and evening filled with laughter and music is on the cards. This year, for the first time ever his dad is doing a fundraiser to support our Young Ambassador's project. He will be abseiling down Anfield LFC in memory of Jonathan to raise funds. Every penny raised will support our young ambassador's as they prepare to launch their own book to support other siblings who endure the loss of a brother or sister in their own words.

So, please support this amazing event which will help young people and their grief, as well as our team of Ambassador's who amaze us everyday in the work they do to help other young people and raise awareness in their communities. We are asking all our members to support us and £1.00 makes a difference to our organisation. Please share and if you can donate to help us help our younger generation with grief and loss. Heights and Harry do not go together, so this is something he is challenging himself to do, along with our lovely Admin Tracy.

Link to fundraiser below.

Crowdfunding to raise funds for New sibling boxes and publication of a book written by our young ambassadors on JustGiving

Graphic: Empty Arms by Angel Parents UK & Worldwide