Night‑Time Grief: A Resource for Bereaved Parents and Families.
- makingmemorieshandmade
- May 22
- 3 min read
We spoke briefly about Night-Time Grief during Mental Health Awareness Week, and many parents shared similar emotions. So, we have put together a resource pack that includes information and advice. Please remember this is a lived experience, we are not Health Care Professionals - we are baby and child loss parents. If you require support, please contact us via email at support@handmadewithlove.net, and one of the Admin Team members will get back to you within 24 hours. Our team is made up of volunteers who work various shifts around their work and families. Thank you for understanding!
When I first started reading 'Night-Time Grief', I felt like I was talking about my own journey; so many things resonated with me. Then we shared on Angel Parents UK & Worldwide, and so many commented and messaged us sharing their lived experience. So it was definitely the time to complete an online resource pack for you to download and use at your own convienance.
What is night‑time grief?
Night‑time grief refers to the way feelings of sadness, longing, or emotional pain can become stronger in the evening or at bedtime. Many bereaved parents experience this, and it is a natural and common part of grief.
Why Grief Feels Stronger at Night
The world becomes quiet. During the day, noise, tasks, and routines offer natural distractions. At night, the stillness allows emotions to rise.
Tiredness lowers emotional defences. When the body is exhausted, it becomes harder to manage or “hold back” feelings.
Memories feel closer in the dark. Darkness and silence can make the absence of a baby or loved one feel more noticeable.
The mind begins to process the day. When you lie down, your brain naturally reviews thoughts, memories, and emotions.
Bedtime routines highlight the missing. For many parents, evenings are when the absence is felt most deeply.
How Night‑Time Grief May Feel
People often describe:
A heavy or tight feeling in the chest
Racing thoughts or difficulty switching off
Restlessness or trouble sleeping
Sudden waves of sadness
Feeling more emotional than during the day
A sense of loneliness, even when not alone
These experiences are not signs of “not coping.” They are a normal response to loss.
Understanding the Experience
Night‑time grief does not mean you are going backwards in your healing. It reflects the natural rhythm of grief: emotions often surface when the world is quiet, and the mind is no longer busy.
Being aware of this pattern can help you respond with gentleness rather than self‑judgement.
Ways to Support Yourself at Night
These are simple, grounding ideas that some parents find helpful:
Slow breathing or gentle stretching
Keeping a soft light on if darkness feels overwhelming
Listening to calming sounds or quiet music
Writing down thoughts to release them from the mind
Reaching out to someone you trust if you need a connection, remember, we are online until 10 pm.
Allowing tears or emotion without pressure to “be strong”
Mindfulness Tracks may help you focus, release tension, and become more aware of your surroundings. Some may find this helps them fall asleep; many parents have said they fell asleep while listening to a Mindfulness Track. Available with Ellie's Gift https://youtu.be/nmLlc0SsBQY?si=M3D-TpRYHUr-BqQI
Don't stay in bed if anxiety builds, especially if you are tossing and turning for more than 20 minutes; get up and go to a different room.
Do a quiet, low-energy activity: Read a book, colour, or do a small, non-digital task to redirect your brain away from rumination. Leave the phone alone!
These are not instructions, just options that may bring comfort.
A Final Note
If you experience Night-Time grief, you are not alone. Many parents share the same quiet ache when the world goes still. Your feelings are valid, understandable, and worthy of compassion. If you need support, please email us at support@handmadewithlove.net, and one of our Bereavement-Trained parents will be happy to assist you.
A good explanation and helpful tips can be found on YouTube by Ben Davis on Night-Time grief. We have added the link below.
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