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Hello I am new here.
Sorry to everyone that experienced loss. It's the worst pain ever!
Let me tell my story.....
In July 2023, at 23+5 weeks I went into early labour following a very serious UTI. I was absolutely terrified.
After being in labour 2 days I gave birth to a beautiful boy I named Ellis. He was so small weighing only 1 and half pound but he was perfect in every way.
He stayed in the neonatal unit and every day was critical. 4 days later we noticed that his tummy was getting big and swollen and it turned out his bowels had ruptured. So he had to be quickly sent to Birmingham children's hospital for an emergency operation. He pulled through the operation fine and was getting stronger by the day.
By the end of that week we were told he was doing very well and could be sent to another neonatal unit at Birmingham women's hospital. We got to bath him, feed him, I even got to hold him and his little eyes opened fully whilst on my chest. it was so special and our bond grew stronger day by day. The love I felt was unreal, I had the son I always wanted to complete our family and be a little brother to my 2 amazing daughters .
This happiness was cut short, on day 17 we were told that his lung had collapsed as there was a small tear and so much air was entering. But they were going to try everything possible to save our boy, sadly it was too late, and he was just so poorly at this point and so weak and nothing could repair the tear.
My world had totally crumbled and I just went cold and couldn't believe it, I didn't want to believe it. On day 18 on August 2nd we were at his bedside and he slowly deteriorated, the words we prayed not to hear were then said, "We have to remove the ventilator, he is ready to go"
OMG I was a total mess.
He passed away in our arms peacefully.
I have never experienced this sort of pain and I have no idea how I'm getting through each day. I just tell myself my boy is watching over me and wanting me to stay strong.
I miss him so much and now he is my precious angel baby. He is now flying with the angels .
I will share a few pictures.
This is the first time I've shared them with anyone. I hope by sharing our precious little boy it brings comfort to other's knowing that today on #itstimetotalkday hugs their hearts. By sharing out beautiful children's journey's and saying their names, they will continue to live on. Reach out today, if you need to chat, or support, I have done so and joined a group for Bereaved parents and Grandparents through Angel Parents UK & Worldwide.
Not every pregnancy, labour, or delivery goes as planned, but we are grateful for the time we had with Ellis. It can not take away the pain or the heartache. But hearing his name brings comfort to me and his family. Fly high our precious little boy, you are forever within our hearts
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