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Our journey..... Hi my name is Rahina Hussain, I am an volunteer and support women within my local community, as well as work behind the scenes with Luanne. This year we are launching the first Muslim Bereavement box for families who endure the loss of a baby 18 weeks and under. We will be launching our special boxes this month at the Royal Oldham Hospital Early Pregnancy Unit. It is so important to recognise baby loss at any stage, and this is something that I will be forever grateful for with Luanne and team, they helped me break the silence and understand that all my babies mattered regardless of the age they died.
I'm an angel parent to 5 angels, Myrah and my 4 silent angels. This is our journey, thank you for reading and thank you for sharing your babies too. #TogetherweStonger I got pregnant in May 2001 I was the happiest I'd ever been in my life, but my happiness was short lived I had a miscarriage a few weeks later. I was heartbroken the same thing happened again I got pregnant in September 2001 and my happiness was short lived again I had another miscarriage then I had another miscarriage in November 2002. I carried on. I became numb as a person and struggled to understand why each time I was pregnant we lost our babies.
A year later I had everything checked and they said I have hormone problems. Then in May 2003 I found out I was pregnant, I received all the medication I needed from the doctor. We were so happy. ME and my husband - but little did we know that our happiness was going to be short lived. When I went for my five months scan they told me that my baby had Down syndrome and a heart condition called hyper plastic left heart syndrome. Which means our baby only had one heart valve of the heart and only her Wright side of the heart works.
I was heartbroken and my whole world was in pieces and top it all off the doctor told me to have an abortion. I said no, I want to give birth to my baby. It felt like every time I would go for check they discussed abortion. But we knew what we wanted to do and that was to carry on.
I went into labour at 31 weeks and there was no premature babies bed available in the whole of the UK. So the decision was made to stop me from going into labour. But the next day I went for a scan and lady turned around and said to why don’t you have abortion all we will do is give you a tablet, and your baby will pass. I turned around and said no way am going to do. We had decided we wanted to do it our way.
A few days passed and I gave birth to my baby girl she lived for 11 days. She was moved from one hospital to another then finally they moved her to alder hay hospital where they were going to do an heart operation on her. In the early hours of the morning I got told your daughter's condition is getting worse so we are moving her to the Special care unit. I went there and saw my baby girl who opened her eyes and looked at me and my husband for a good few minutes. I knew then she was saying goodbye to us. Later they put her in my arms and she took her last breath and died they said she had a bowel infection, that is what she died of.
Two years later I had my rainbow daughter who is 17 years old now, then 3 years later I had another miscarriage. I gave up hope, left everything up to god and then five years later we were blessed with another Rainbow Baby girl. My girls are miracles because I had them both prematurely and they fought so hard. But, there was always something niggling away inside of me. This grief, the feeling of emptyness when I had left the hospital after each loss never went away. By accident I came across a lady called Luanne Rimmer who had set up a group called Angel Parents UK & Worldwide in 2014 to campaign for the 15th October to become a National Day of Remembrance within the UK. Contuary to belief there is no special day for babies and infants that have died. Luanne gave me support, and she helped me with the grief of losing my children. Not long after Luanne asked me to join her so I did, and I shared my story to create awareness for pregnancy and infant loss
The ladies on the admin team of Angel Parents are absolutely gorgeous and wonderful ladies who have all helped me. Luanne and Harry Rimmer are my friends they are the most beautiful amazing couple I can’t thank them enough for what they have done for me, and what they are doing for the angel parents community. they are truly inspirational couple who I am truly happy to have know them both love you both thank you everyone of you for your support love you all.
Please everyone who reads my journey of you have lost you child please break your Silence At times I think that my daughter is better off where she is, because I don’t know how I would have coped because my husband is now disabled. God is the best of planners (My Prayers) it's how we get through it as her parents and coping with grief.
When Luanne asked me 3 years ago to help her support muslim women in the community who had endured the loss of their baby's during early pregnancy, I was so overwhelmed and knew this was my way to give back and support another family. Talking about early baby loss regardless of faith, is still a taboo. People are shy, scared to hurt your feelings, and it is no different from one woman to another. My faith has helped me, and when I told Luanne about what the Prophet said about us meeting our babies in paradise I had never seen her smile so much, and she told me together Rahina we can all make a difference, and I believe that too.
This June we will be delivering special boxes for parents, and I am so proud to be a part of this journey with all the ladies who handmake the precious items for parents, and to share their work. I am so proud to be donating special books in memory of my babies and to support other women on their journey. I want to say a huge thank you to Luanne and Harry for not only being their for my family, but for reaching out within my community and letting us know as mum's it is okay not to be okay, but it is not okay to do it alone. Luanne believes every parent should be able to make precious memories regardless of how old their baby was when they died.
This is for my angel Myrah in the sky, my Rainbow Miracles, and my silent babies that I never got to say goodbye to, but will meet one day in paradise.
